Public Service Annoucement

Let me preface. I think I still might want kids. Let me emphasize: I think. I am 27 and getting a little selfish with my money and time. I think I am enjoying single-hood but then again, I probably have not been inspired to WANT to share. I digress. I work retail in a rather kid friendly store. We give balloons and have little toys mixed in with the Burberry dresses and Ed Hardy shirts for toddlers. Day after day I see these little beings running around my store although more often, they are about 3 years old (clearly able to walk on their own) and being pushed around in a Maclaren Stroller.

sidebar: ANY mom who is a GOOD mom apparently owns the Cadillac of strollers. Out are the baby joggers, so prominent in the early part of the millennium, in are the Maclaren. And please do not forget the baby bjorn and kate spade diaper bags, for when you just can't be occupied by a cart with wheels. This message brought to you by Google search! I hope all you annoying moms read this blog!

How often have I tried to fit one of these moms in a nice pair of shoes and they run out on me because their brats are "tired" or want "a pretzel" or is just plain rude? How many times have their brats taken the shoe boxes I keep meticulously neat and dumped the shoes and tissue about? Oh, and they always proceed to want to put their little, stinky, sockless feet into the shoes their mom is trying on. What does Stylish Mummy say? "Oh... isnt that cute? *in soft voice* Okay, now Mackenzie/Sheridan/Forest/Aiden/Madison/Michayla/Jared/(other sytlish, non-hood name), that's enough mummy is trying on shoes, put the shoes away now for mummy" after which they look to me for an affirmation that their child is merely cute... not a terror. I must always respond, stifling instinctual eye rolling, "Yes!" *insert big cheesy, FAKE, grin here*.

I am sorry ladies, your brats are not cute. They should sit. They should not touch. They should KNOW not to touch. They should not be BRIBED into not touching. Do you know why? Because most likely, you have bribed them with some high fructose laden confection which will inevitably end up on the glass displays or mirrors. And as JOYFUL as it is to clean that mess up immediately, before snobby customer arrives and complains about it, its much easier to just not have to deal with it. If you know your child is a brat, do not bring them along. *Yes, you know. Save the denial for public* Also, I am commissioned. Do not take an hour of my time, trying shoes, only to run out on buying them because little Jayden/Ava decides to have a tantrum. And since when are tantrums cool? Far departed are we from my childhood when tantrums were not tolerated. Now, they are natural and cute. It is not cute, its rather unnerving and if I weren't trying to make a quick $100 off of your purchase, you would probably see my disgust all over my face.

Finally, Please note. If your child comes into the elevator and I am not working. I will NOT let them push the button. They always press extra buttons, increasing my trip. I am young and I work. I am not stay at home mommy and I do not have that time to waste. Save that cutesy, give your brat anything they want crap for when you do not have to share space. Oh yes, snotty noses are NOT the business either but that's more a note for the trashy sale rack parents. Not the trendy Juicy leisure suit/Tory Burch flat mommies.

Lessons Learned: Your kids are only cute... TO YOU. The rest of us find them annoying little creatures which should be locked away most times. They most definitely do not belong in movies or restaurants. I don't bring my dog to the mall outside of a bag, so keep your little pet harnessed.